Leaving Treadmarkz Across the Universe

Archive for the ‘Outer Space’ Category

A Time Machine with Hand Controls, Episode VII: Mars, 2008. What the…!

with 3 comments

by Treadmarkz

In honor of the 50th Anniversary of NASA, I’d like to tell a story of a recent travel of the Time Machine with Hand Controls. You see, I am working with the space-time continuum here, and sometimes things just get a little screwed up. Sometimes the time machine with hand controls gets shot through space and not through time.

Which is how I recently ended up on Mars.

I don’t know if you know this but there are just as many disabled people on Mars as there are here. Only, I was able to ascertain (again, through my vast knowledge of the Martian language) that the governments throughout the planet are so focused on space travel, so focused on studying earth that they have in no way spent any time focusing on building a civilization. That’s why we’ve never seen any evidence of it on photos of Mars’ surface. And along with that, the governments of Mars have also neglected developing technology for the disabled to improve accessibility.

Except for the hoverchairs.

Yes, that’s right, using the same technology they’ve used to build their nifty “UFOs” as we call them, they’ve found a way to avoid any debates over wheelchair ramps etc. But its all just showing off because like I said, they haven’t built up a concrete jungle like we have so I think they are counting their chickens before they’ve hatched a little bit with these hoverchairs. Although I can see how they’d be nice to avoid the rocky terrain on the surface of Mars.

I think they may have went too far with the chairs’ built-in commodes which have a hatch that releases the contents into space. But hey, they probably got that idea from NASA. And it solves the problem of accessible bathrooms. No need for an ADA here.

Except for the issue of equal treatment in the workplace. No problem there either. Everyone on Mars is required to work for their space program. They are serious about finally being able to prove once and for all that there is life on Earth!

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