Leaving Treadmarkz Across the Universe

Posts Tagged ‘time machine

A Time Machine with Hand Controls, Episode VIII: Australia, 1850

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by Treadmarkz

Hey everybody, it’s me again, the backwards traveler, four-wheeled time-space rambler, back for another adventure. This time, the machine takes me to Australia, smack in the middle of the 19th century, smack in the middle of the colonization of “the land down under.”

It is a common misconception that the British colony of Australia was conceived as a prison farm for mentally unstable criminals. The fact is that when Australia was first colonized toward the end of 1836, the Crown asked for able bodied young people intended to build the colony. Though they got a fairly good crop of laborers, they also got the elderly, the ill and the mentally and physically disabled. And the government would not take responsibility of them.

By the time of this adventure, accommodation for all of these people was a disaster. The handicapped were crammed into huts all over the colony center. As soon as I got my chair out of the time machine, and began my stroll through the village, I was arrested and taken to the “ward” where I was greeted by about 200 other disabled people. No windows, hidden away from society proper. Living in squalor, in close quarters. Disease was rampant. Mentally ill people were intermixed with the elderly and the physically handicapped, and the deaf and the blind, adults and children.

I stayed there for several weeks, trying to devise a way to “escape”. During this time we were visited by clergymen, political figures and other people of good intentions. This was the only time I got a decent meal. It was then that I met a family that offered to take me in. As soon as they got me out of there, I told them I had family that should be taking care of me, as was the official colonial policy on disabled people. No public assistance here. I asked my saviors to provide me with transportation to where I knew I’d left the time machine with hand controls, and as soon as they left me there, I bolted back to good ol’ 2008.

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A Time Machine with Hand Controls, Episode VII: Mars, 2008. What the…!

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by Treadmarkz

In honor of the 50th Anniversary of NASA, I’d like to tell a story of a recent travel of the Time Machine with Hand Controls. You see, I am working with the space-time continuum here, and sometimes things just get a little screwed up. Sometimes the time machine with hand controls gets shot through space and not through time.

Which is how I recently ended up on Mars.

I don’t know if you know this but there are just as many disabled people on Mars as there are here. Only, I was able to ascertain (again, through my vast knowledge of the Martian language) that the governments throughout the planet are so focused on space travel, so focused on studying earth that they have in no way spent any time focusing on building a civilization. That’s why we’ve never seen any evidence of it on photos of Mars’ surface. And along with that, the governments of Mars have also neglected developing technology for the disabled to improve accessibility.

Except for the hoverchairs.

Yes, that’s right, using the same technology they’ve used to build their nifty “UFOs” as we call them, they’ve found a way to avoid any debates over wheelchair ramps etc. But its all just showing off because like I said, they haven’t built up a concrete jungle like we have so I think they are counting their chickens before they’ve hatched a little bit with these hoverchairs. Although I can see how they’d be nice to avoid the rocky terrain on the surface of Mars.

I think they may have went too far with the chairs’ built-in commodes which have a hatch that releases the contents into space. But hey, they probably got that idea from NASA. And it solves the problem of accessible bathrooms. No need for an ADA here.

Except for the issue of equal treatment in the workplace. No problem there either. Everyone on Mars is required to work for their space program. They are serious about finally being able to prove once and for all that there is life on Earth!

A Time Machine with Hand Controls, Episode VI: 866 A.D., the British Isles

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by Treadmarkz,

Time for the long-awaited sixth installment of the Time Machine with Hand Controls, in which our hero finds himself in the perilous position between a Viking long bow infantry and the treasure the Vikings sought out on the British Isles.

Just outside of York, England, 866 A.D. – The Time Machine with Hand Controls came to rest in the middle of a field. I got my chair out and popped the wheels on, and as I approached the village center, the locals began to stop what they were doing, and the cry of “Ivar!” began to grow louder. I, being well-versed in ninth-century Anglo-Saxon speech quickly determined that the locals thought that I was a Viking raider known as “Ivar the Boneless.” I did not do anything to make them think I was Ivar, but I did not deny it at first either. It was a powerful feeling.

I learned that the dreaded Vikings had just attacked York and were beginning to lay waste to surrounding areas, and news had made its way around that the raiders were led by a “legless demon” who was carried on an armor plated pallet.

According to the stories, Ivar either had no legs, or he had what is now known as osteogenesis, or brittle bones leaving him unable to stand. Whatever his affliction, he did indeed lead his army into battle, carried on a shield, which I found out when, not long after I arrived, who should appear but Ivar himself on his shield, at the head of an infantry of Scandinavian pillagers on horseback barraging the village with arrows from longbows and torching everything in sight.

He shot a long bow from his “chariot” while screaming out instructions to his front line. In the Scandinavian military culture of the time, a Viking leader was expected to lead his troops into battle, and by God, Ivar was clearly driven to the point of inhumanity to do so. What I witnessed was an attack which was no less merciless than any other great siege in world history.

I had seen the movie “The Butterfly Effect” so I was not going to affect history one way or another by taking up arms for or against Ivar. Instead I headed for the woods, far out of range of the longbow, and watched with binoculars. I was unable to determine which story of Ivar was the true one, if either, but the Brits ran from Ivar and his band as though he were a minion of the devil himself. The Scandinavians quickly laid waste to everything in sight, so I sneaked through the brush back to the Time Machine with Hand Controls, and got the hell out of dodge, having satisfied my curiosity about one of the most mythical, yet very real, figures in disabled history.

A Time Machine with Hand Controls, Episode V Preview

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by Treadmarkz,

The four-wheeled rambler has seen enough of the 20th Century. In the next installment of “A Time Machine with Hand Controls”, we are going to zoom through time before the ADA, before the Paralympics, before the wheelchair existed, before many many many politically correct words for the disabled came and went, back to the year 30 A.D., in the “Holy Land.”

Come with me, from the 21st century, a time full of headlines and talk of people’s rights being infringed upon, to a time before there were any comforts whatsoever for the afflicted.

It’s gonna be fun!

A Time Machine With Hand Controls, Preview of Episode IV

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by Treadmarkz,

Greetings. After our last trip in time to London in 1948, the time machine was running low on plutonium. But we had plenty of gasoline, enough to get us to Russia, a ghastly place in 1948 whether you were disabled or not, but still it was about 100 times safer for a disabled person than Germany had been just 5-10 years earlier.

And thankfully with the Nuclear Age just having dawned, we were able to find some plutonium. So it’s been a while, but it won’t be long before we will be heading to our next space-time destination, Washington D.C., USA, in the year 1990 as we see firsthand the story behind the passing of the ADA into law. It’s more interesting than you may think! Take a trip with me, there and then, in the next episode of “A Time Machine With Hand Controls. Coming Soon!

In the meantime, check out the previous Time Machine With Hand Controls posts, to see where and when we’ve been.

A Time Machine with Hand Controls, Episode I – The Middle Ages

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by Treadmarkz

Announcing a new segment here at treadmarkz.wordpress.com…”A Time Machine with Hand Controls” in which I explore living conditions for the disabled throughout history.

I have written about my thoughts on what my life may have been like had I grown up on a farm and not in a small town, and exploring that possibility has lead me to want to explore another dimension.

Time.

What kid hasn’t wondered what his/her life would be like if they’d been born in another time? My favorite place and time period is Europe in the Middle Ages (between the years 500 roughly, to about 1300-something, when brains became important again in Europe.

I love to read about the Middle Ages. The wars, the struggles for survival, and even the schmaltzy fictitious legends of knights in shining armor. But living in it? First off, without the use of my legs I would have been useless in the Wars for the Holy Sepulchre (the Crusades) unless I was able to come up with a way to hold fast in the saddle while wielding a sword and fighting off “infidels”.

During the Middle Ages in Europe, the law of the land was feudalism, which means you were “allowed” to work the land in exchange for protection from your lord (usually some fat guy who got someone to do all his fighting for him). Incidentally this is where the modern term “landlord” comes from.

There was no place to buy your food unless you wanted to travel miles to the nearest market place. If not, you were to grow and raise and graze your own food. Traversing the land to get to said market would be a chore in and of itself for someone without use of their legs, as their was no Quickie wheelchairs in the Middle Ages. There is record of wheelchairs being used in China in the sixth century but in Europe not until well after the Middle Ages and even then their use was restricted to the Royals. And anyway, a wheelchair certainly would have done little good for a disabled peasant who worked the fields.

Most European-based surnames are rooted in the trade of those in the Middle Ages who were lucky enough to be self-sufficient and not to be dependent on a lord. Tanner, Smith, Shoemaker, and Miller are all examples that come to mind.

But let’s be honest. Technology did not allow the disabled the freedom we enjoy today. There was no ADA protecting the rights of the disabled in the work force. And there was no social security. Most disabled people scraped a living together however they could, and this was hard, as other folk saw them as witches or bad omens, the blind often seen as some kind of oracle with inner vision that the rest of us did not possess. Again, stereotypes can be used to one’s advantage! Much in the same way that the eight-limbed girl from India has been recently doted on as a reincarnated Vishnu. Can you blame them for running with it? I would!

In closing, it has come to my attention that in the Middle Ages, everyone had the middle name of “the” – Alfred the Great, Harold the Bold, Henry the Unready, Philip the Goofy. Whatever. Well, I would be Forrest the Lame, of course. But I digress.