Mind Games to Play With Walkies III

by Treadmarkz

I love politically correct language. It’s funny. It’s irrational. I could go on all day but let me get to my point.

A lot of people in wheelchairs, for example like to refer to themselves as “disabled”. In this country some people feel it is more appropriate to qualify that as “Disabled-American”.

For a while I was getting a kick out of referring to myself as a Cripple in conversation with Walkies. I no longer get the same thrill out of that. No, what I have done, see, is I have begun peppering in the phrase “Crippled-American” into my everyday interactions with Walkies. Try it. It really screws with people’s minds. They don’t know how to react. It’s hilarious.

Peace. Aum.

Go and Watch “Avatar”

by Treadmarkz

Like I said in the title of this posting, go and watch James Cameron’s new movie, Avatar if you haven’t already. It is not ALL hype. Not all. It is a great movie, with some mind bending scenes, colors, action, etc. Not the most groundbreaking screenplay or overall plot, and there is certainly a lot of non-very-well-veiled anti-war propaganda. But all things considered the movie is great. And it’s not racist, despite what some people are saying. I don’t know how some people jump to that conclusion whenever a movie involves civilizations of a different color (The Na’vi, who are blue). If anything the movie is taking a stand against one of its own characters who considers the Na’vi to be inferior because of their non-European-like culture.

I will try not to spoil anything, but you can see from the preview that a man in a wheelchair, Jake, walks again by becoming one of the Na’vi, right? Well, okay, seeing him become an avatar and walk on two legs for the first time since becoming disabled, and talking about it with my wife on the way home from the movie, it FORCED ME to admit that while I don’t pine away to be able to walk, if I did one day find myself able to, I ADMIT that I would react the same way this man did. By running. And like him, I’d probably keep running for a while.

When I first saw the preview, I thought the movie might have something to do with the Hindu avatars of God (Krishna, Vishnu, etc) because they are always portrayed with blue skin. But it has nothing to do with that, except that in Hinduism, avatars are said to come to help humanity when we need to be reminded why we are here, OR we are being overcome by evil forces, which is just what the character Jake ends up doing for the Na’vi. But they are all blue themselves, so the reference gets lost.

Anyway, go see the movie and let me know what you thought. Or if you’ve seen it, let me know what you thought.

Treadmarkz To Be Published by the “Legitimate” Press!

by Treadmarkz

Yep, it’s official, Treadmarkz will be in hard copy for the first time ever when one of my stories appears in New Mobility magazine’s June issue. Reserve your copy now! I will be published under the name Forrest Dailey. It is a story which demonstrates that we are all much more alike in our experiences than we think we are.

Check Out a New Posting by Treadmarkz at Musicgoat.com!!!!!

by Treadmarkz

Musicgoat.com is my brother-in-law’s music blog. I recently came up with the idea to write a piece in which I attempt to explain the break-up of the Beatles using the law of Karma as a guide. Give it a look, and if you are a fan of music – any music! -  take a look around while you are there. He covers pretty much everything. And if you are interested in the piece, stop over at RockOm.net where you will find a variety of pieces to ponder regarding that place where rock music and spirituality collide. Remember that is Rock OM.

Treadmarkz and Footprints

by Treadmarkz

One night, a man who uses a wheelchair dreamed that he was watching himself push through the wilderness. As he rolled through the wilderness, many scenes from his life flashed in the sky. As each scene flashed, he noted that beside the wheel tracks in the mud, there was a  set of footprints. Further, he noticed that whenever scenes flashed showing the most troublesome, burdened times of his life – trying to fit in, trying to be independent, therapies and surgery -the footprints seemed to come in line with the wheel tracks.

“Thank you, Lord, for knowing when I could not do it myself, and for carrying me through my times of trouble!” he cried out.”Thank you for giving me the push I needed!”

But the Lord said: “My son, during the times when you see my footprints in line with your path, I was not pushing you. It was then that I went before you to clear your path, as I know your heart and I heard your voice crying out in the wilderness telling me there were some obstacles you needed removed. For instance, I removed a tree trunk from the path but you still went over the hill yourself.”

The Life-Altering Reason That “Leaving Treadmarkz Across the Universe” is now “Leaving Footprintz Across the Universe”

by Footprintz,

Those of you who have followed this blog throughout the last year or so may have noticed a marked drop in output over the last few months.

You may also have noticed that I changed the name of this website from “Leaving Treadmarkz Across the Universe” to “Leaving Footprintz Across the Universe.” There is a reason for both changes and they are connected. The reason is I have been busy. A lot of bloggers say that when they cut production, but I have been busy doing things that I have never, ever done before! Let me start at the beginning.

I started this blog as a man with spina bifida and I wanted to tell the world a little about my life and what it is like with a disability. Well, back on December 15 I recieved a call from a doctor who was present at the hospital on the day I was born. And he told me something that made me hysterically angry and hysterically blissful at the same time. He is no longer affiliated with the hospital where I was born, so he was able to tell me this:

He told me that I was in fact born a healthy baby, but for reasons he could not explain my parents were told by the doctor that delivered me that I had spina bifida. My parents took me home with the news that I had special needs and would never walk. The power of those spoken words apparently held so much sway that from the very beginning, that even though I was perfectly healthy, I never did use my legs, and I never did learn to walk. Crap, I was even allergic to things that people with spina bifida are supposed to be allergic to. Talc in Latex, chocolate, and bananas.

As time went on, and as doctor after doctor looked at my incorrect charts, I had a lot of unnecessary surgeries. This added new and just-as-erroneous diagnoses and prognoses into the mix, and the untruth became stronger and stronger until there came a time in my adulthood that I thought that I was even more disabled than that. I began thinking that I was “slow” and the very thought, and the act of saying it out loud gave me reason to expect less of myself.

I gave that part of it up a long time ago, but on December 15 of last year, when that doctor told me that I was not in fact born with spina bifida, that I was not in fact paralyzed from the waist down, that I was not physically paralyzed at all, things began to change. I began to feel things in my lower extremeties, to a point where I began to get out of my wheelchair. I recently got a new wheelchair, but I have been using it less and less. I still use it at work, and I use it to go out and get the mail, but because I have used it less I am not very good at it. In fact one day I rolled it over off a step and crashed my chair scratching the wheel badly.

I use it while living my civic life because I haven’t wanted anyone knowing that anything had changed. But I have been getting out a lot, anonymously, out of town, just doing things I have never gotten to do before. It’s okay. But the only person I have told is my wife. Not even my parents, brother or sister know yet. For that I am sorry. But I worried about how I’d be treated having been “healed”. So I just went on living and observing life as a disabled man, but as a non-disabled man. But I think I am ready to move on and let the world know the power of thought and how it has affected my life.

That’s why it’s now “Footprintz” instead of “Treadmarkz” and Happy April Fools Day, by the way. 

But seriously. Just think about what I said. Think about all the things we tell ourselves and believe. Just imagine.

Taxman STILL Trying to Pull a Fast One

by Treadmarkz

My wife and I went to get our taxes done yesterday (I won’t bore you with the sob story that is the result) and I remembered that last year there was a question on the tax form that really bugged me and I wondered if anything had been done about it. The question reads “Are you or your spouse permanently and totally disabled?” Yes gets you a bit of a refund, No doesn’t.

I have spina bifida. I am in fact, permanently disabled. It is my role to play in this life. However I am not totally disabled. I tried again to point out the distinction to the tax preparer and she tried to explain it thusly:

“Well, by totally they just mean that you’re disabled and it is not going to change.” Something like that.

To which I replied “Isn’t that what ‘permanently’ means?” She had no response.

I will be contacting someone. It is not a matter of pride, as you can see I am perfectly willing to admit and accept that I am permanently disabled. But totally would imply…what? I mean the fact that I can type this is evidence that I am not totally disabled. And anyone who cannot type is still FAR from totally disabled. In fact, anyone who is “totally disabled would not be living because total disability would include the function of the person’s heart, correct?

I Got Yelled At By a Walkie Yesterday and I May Have Deserved It

by Treadmarkz

For me, being in a wheelchair, sometimes it really is great to have a non-disabled person rebuke me for my actions if they are out of line, rather than just assuming that I am mentally challenged and let me off the hook. Let me give you an example from yesterday:

The office building at my apartment complex is under construction and has temporarily relocated downstairs.  For weeks there have been signs up saying “Sorry about the inconvenience”. The mailboxes have remained accessible on the main floor throughout the construction.Yesterday however, I went there and the sign said “Office will be closed today sorry about the inconvenience.” I wondered if this sign meant the main floor or the relocated downstairs office. But when I checked the door to the main floor, even though there was construction going on in the back, it was not locked, so I thought OK it’s open, and went in and got my mail. As I was leaving, one of the workers approached me, and in a real gruff, aggressive voice said “Is there not a sign on the door that said “Do Not Enter”? As I attempted to answer, he interrupted me, with “Huh? Didn’t you see it? I’ll bet you did, didn’t you?”

He then pointed to the floor which had just been cemented or something, and was still drying. I apologized repeatedly but I told the man, quite reasonably I thought, that the sign did not, in fact, say “Do Not Enter”, and again tried to explain that I thought it referred to the office as it was current downstairs location.

Now, I don’t really think I deserved this type of rebuke from this man, as his sign clearly should have stated “Do Not Enter” or at LEAST “Wet Floor”. And I don’t understand why the door wasn’t blocked off in some way if not locked. I don’t think I got the chastising I got BECAUSE of my disability. In fact, it was great that he would go off on me, never taking my disability into consideration.

I forgive him because I understand they’d probably worked on that floor for a while only to have me come along and muck it up. Though I did not destroy it by any means, I should have questioned the signs further, I suppose.

President Obama Bashes Special Olympics on the Tonight Show

by Treadmarkz

Wow. I watched the broadcast with great interest, and was impressed with the poise and confidence with which the President discussed the economic situation and how he appears to be ready to clean up all of the immoral practices of corporate America that have been swept under the rug for too long.

I didn’t even notice this comment.

Everything else he was saying was more important. I am an American first and a disabled person…well, like fifth or sixth, but you get the idea.

But I will say that no matter how hard he works to rectify our economy and get this ship on the right course, a “joke” like that should not be considered “acceptable” for the President of the United States to make.

I write a lot on this blog about how disabled people can take a joke, and we are no more untouchable than anyone else. But the Special Olympics is for participants that are often very physically able people, and I would imagine a lot of the participants could bowl the Flag Pin right off of President Obama’s lapel!

Mr. President, I respect you for your initiative and for your passion, but please be careful. Don’t be a Biden. You’re much more intelligent than that one small comment would give you credit for.

One Disability That is Almost Wiped Off The Planet!

Below I will leave a link to a story about a great effort of the Rotary International and the Gates Foundation to finally make polio a thing of the past. Yes polio has been, for the most part, a non-issue in U.S. for decades, but there are still people here living with its disabling after-effects, and there are still just four countries where it is still newly afflicting people, thankfully now in minimal numbers.

Before you write this off as another lost cause, Here is a chance to read a story with stats on specifically how much progress is being made. This is impressive when you compare it to, for example, the standstill we seem to be at with AIDS in Africa.

If the link expires, please contact a nearby Rotary or the (Bill) Gates Foundation for further information.

If you are like me and you have a disability, you likely feel empathetic toward anyone who has a disability which is more difficult to bear than your own. Whether you have a disability, know someone who does, or are just randomly coming across this story, I urge you to read the story and pitch in to the effort and tell a friend.

The only way we can get rid of terrible things like polio is by showing love, and choosing to help those who are afflicted, whom we don’t know, have never met, and probably never will.